Top 11 Obama Enticements to Congressional Republicans

Posting has been slow here since the inauguration; we became caught up in Obamamania and pledged to be less mocking.

We’ve tried, really, we’ve tried. But, come on. It has been nothing but set up after set up since the inauguration. We do admit that President Obama has at least made an effort to reach across the aisle to Republicans in an effort to get bipartisan support for his pork bill. So in an effort to give the administrations its due, here are the Top 11 Obama enticements to Congressional Republicans:

11. Free Planned Parenthood gift certificates

10. Fist bump with Michele

9. Promise that they don't have to sit next to Amy Klobuchar at his next Super Bowl party.

8. Free subscription to Oprah's Book Club

7. Discounted Obama commemorative plates

6. A cabinet appointment for any Republican Senator from a state with a Democrat Governor (plus a cut of the kickback from the new appointee)

5. Obama will allow them to touch his robe

4. Automatic BCS playoff spot for a college in their state.

3. Two-for-one earmark coupons

2. Promise that Joe Biden will make campaign appearance on behalf of your next opponent

1. Free butlers! (formerly residents of Gitmo)