Top 11 Reasons the New York Times Rejected John McCain’s Op-Ed

11. Didn’t think it was fair to give McCain a lot of publicity while Obama was out of the country

10. The op-ed just wasn’t Obama-rific

9. It wasn’t up to the New York Times’ standard of requiring at least one correction

8. Didn’t think Obama would have wanted them to print it

7. McCain stubbornly refused to acquiesce to the editor’s insistence that he change the text to “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” repeated over and over

6. They were afraid that McCain was using the op-ed to send coded messages to his North Vietnamese masters

5. New York Times has strict policy against printing op-eds by someone whom has been suspected of thinking about cheating on his wife

4. McCain advocated drilling for more oil, when everyone knows that drilling for more oil won’t increase the supply of oil

3. He kept going on about the Surge, and that reminded the editors of that crappy Surge Cola

2. It was written only in English

1. There was no mention of “hope” or “change” in the whole darn thing