Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Decline of the American Political Mistress

I’m not one of those persons who constantly goes on about how much better things were back in the day; I believe that things tend to get better over time. Computers are faster, baseball pitchers throw harder, and Scotch is tastier than in the past. Nevertheless, we seem to be digressing in at least one area: the hotness of our high-level political mistresses. Consider the steady and steep decline from JFK’s Marilyn Monroe to Gary Hart’s Donna Rice to Bill Clinton’s Monica Lewinsky. And now we’ve reached rock bottom with John Edwards’ Baby Mama, Rielle Hunter. Come on, John, you can do better than that in any number of Americas.

I’m also not one to look to the French for guidance, but I have to admit that Nicolas Sarkozy has the mistress thing down:

The question is this: can Obama reverse the trend? I have the audacity to hope that he can. Although he denies even an e-mail relationship, I suspect that Scarlett Johannson would be his for the picking.

Barack Obama, here is one area where you could bring meaningful change and demonstrate that not all powerful American politicians choose uggo mistresses!


Anonymous Dryheave said...

I would divest myself of every conservative thought and embrace every socialist ideal were Scarlett to throw an amorous gaze in my direction.

Barack could seal the deal by picking her as his running mate.

1:57 AM  
Blogger Mister Snitch! said...

Well-observed. However - and you may have missed the memo here - the FEMME FATALE political mistress, living off her looks and the largesse of her patron, is OUT. The CORRUPT political mistress, who wants her piece of the action, is IN.

I know this because I live in the nation's Political Mistress Capital.

12:42 PM  

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