Thursday, February 12, 2009

Top 11 Real Reasons Chad the Elder Is Ending His Regular Participation With the First Team of the Northern Alliance Radio Network

The world of unpaid, Saturday morning, AM conservative radio is still reeling from the announcement by Chad the Elder that he is leaving his regular commitment to the First Team of the Northern Aliance Radio Network.

His stated reasons include his desire to spend more time with his family. However, tellingly, his family has yet to release a statement indicating they wish to spend more time with him. Therefore, we are forced to speculate on the top 11 REAL reasons why Chad the Elder is leaving the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

11) The Patriot instituted a new policy requiring all hosts to wear pants while on air

10) He's agreed to become John Hinderaker's butler

9) Unimpressed with the Patriot's final offer: “receiving total consciousness on deathbed”

8) Has run out of local breweries to invite in for "interviews"

7) Too hung over to get up by 11 am most Saturdays

6) The only reason he'd stuck around this long was his man-crush on Michael Brodkorb

5) Has decided to accept the position of Secretary of Commerce in the Obama administration

4) Wants to follow the Hillbilly Swing Kings around on tour

3) Tired of feigning interest in the happenings at Dartmouth during commercial breaks

2) Shutting himself down based on persuasive arguments by Democrats on the Fairness Doctrine

1) Tired of doing radio for free and wanted to devote more time to blogging for free

5 Comments:

Blogger Jon said...

6) The only reason he'd stuck around this long was his man-crush on Michael Brodkorb

AHAHAHAHA!!!

A truly great/entertaining moment in radio history.

5:41 PM  
Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

McDonald's is hiring!

3:45 PM  
Blogger Joseph A. said...

Godspeed, Chad. Godspeed.

6:41 AM  
Blogger marcus aurelius said...

I heard the Elder was in negotiations to hit the airwaves nationwide as Jason Lewis' sidekick "Boy Libertas"

3:08 PM  
Anonymous viagra online said...

hahaha I just can laugh, someones are just useless and stupid, some others maybe right, who knows...

1:41 PM  

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