Why Not Mr. Mondale?
We have now reached the stage of the Presidential race where we speculate on whom the candidates may choose as running mates. Barack Obama is said to be considering Hillary Clinton, Sen. James Webb, John Edwards, Gov. Bill Richardson, Gov. Janet Napolitano, Gov. Ed Rendell, among others. There are plusses and minuses for each of these choices, but there is one choice that is all plusses: Walter Mondale. There are so many good reasons for Obama to chose Fritz that a traditional Top 11 list is insufficient to list them all. Here are the Top 17 Reasons Barack Obama Should Select Walter Mondale as His Running Mate:
17. The most controversial thing Mondale's pastor has ever said involved his dislike of lutefisk
16. Mondale has already lost an election in all 50 states. This would give him the historic opportunity to lose an election in states 51-57.
15. Iran would enthusiastically endorse his selection
14. Mondale could all but guarantee that Obama will carry Minnesota (unless McCain selects Norm Coleman as his running mate)
13. He could go to McCain rallies and wave around two hamburger buns while shouting “Where’s the Beef!”
12. Adding Mondale would increase the Senate experience on the ticket by 400%
11. He could help mend the rift between Obama and Geraldine Ferraro
10. His daughter Eleanor could help mend the rift between Obama and Bill Clinton
9. He can spell potato
8. His face practically screams "change"
7. Will provide a good contrast because you can't really find anyone more white than Mondale
6. No need to worry about a Vice Presidential sex scandal
5. Would save taxpayer money by not requiring a new Vice Presidential portrait
4. Fritz Mondale is second to none when it comes to raising taxes
3. Not since Jacko and Sir Paul has ebony and ivory lived in such perfect harmony.
2. Chances of Obama being assassinated would drop dramatically
1. Fritz has already proven that he can serve as Vice President in a failed administration
17. The most controversial thing Mondale's pastor has ever said involved his dislike of lutefisk
16. Mondale has already lost an election in all 50 states. This would give him the historic opportunity to lose an election in states 51-57.
15. Iran would enthusiastically endorse his selection
14. Mondale could all but guarantee that Obama will carry Minnesota (unless McCain selects Norm Coleman as his running mate)
13. He could go to McCain rallies and wave around two hamburger buns while shouting “Where’s the Beef!”
12. Adding Mondale would increase the Senate experience on the ticket by 400%
11. He could help mend the rift between Obama and Geraldine Ferraro
10. His daughter Eleanor could help mend the rift between Obama and Bill Clinton
9. He can spell potato
8. His face practically screams "change"
7. Will provide a good contrast because you can't really find anyone more white than Mondale
6. No need to worry about a Vice Presidential sex scandal
5. Would save taxpayer money by not requiring a new Vice Presidential portrait
4. Fritz Mondale is second to none when it comes to raising taxes
3. Not since Jacko and Sir Paul has ebony and ivory lived in such perfect harmony.
2. Chances of Obama being assassinated would drop dramatically
1. Fritz has already proven that he can serve as Vice President in a failed administration
posted by Sisyphus at 6/11/2008 03:33:00 PM
2 Comments:
Didn't Mondale take Minnesota in 1984? I thought he only lost 49.
Yes, but he lost a 2002 senate race to Norm Coleman in Minnesota. #16 doesn't claim he lost a presidential election in all 50 states; any election loss will do.
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