Top 11 Reasons President Bush Commuted Scooter Libby’s Prison Sentence

11. After the immigration bill failed, Bush just had to give amnesty to someone

10. Not much else more he can do to really rile up the left

9. He sent the unqualified husband of a C.I.A. secret agent to Nigeria to look for evidence of perjury, and none was found

8. No one named Scooter would ever survive more than two seconds in prison

7. Scooter is claustrophobic and would be depressed in jail

6. Halliburton asked really nicely

5. At least he didn’t stay in Congress after being caught taking bribes like John Murtha, Alcee Hastings, and William Jefferson

4. Didn’t want the nation to go through another prison nightmare so close to the Paris Hilton incarceration

3. Was worried about prison overcrowding

2. Bill Clinton convinced him that perjury is no big deal

1. It was his reward for not spilling the beans on 9/11 being an inside job