Top 11 Reasons Ted Kennedy Endorsed Barack Obama

11. Thought he was endorsing Oban Scotch

10. Barack promised to name his jowls a National Landmark

9. Obama promised him a position in his liquor cabinet

8. Barack Obama easier to pronounce than Hillary Clinton when you're drunk

7. Obama expanded his horizons by introducing him to the tasty Appletini

6. Thought an Obama administration would give the country more reasons to drink

5. With Obama out of the Senate, Teddy is convinced he will once again be considered the sexiest Senator

4. Feels that Osama is less likely to attack a nation led by someone with only one letter different in his name

3. Obama’s book gave Ted the audacity to hope that he could bag Scarlett Johansson

2. Wanted to endorse John McCain, but he declined saying he already had enough trouble with the New York Times endorsement (included in hopes of getting a link from Hugh Hewitt)

1. Thinks that Obama will attract hotter interns to Washington than Hillary