Top 11 Reasons That Bret Favre Retired

11. Hopes to take advantage of government's prescription drug benefit plan

10. Finally realizes he was scammed when he took all of that worthless Green Bay Packer stock in lieu of a signing bonus

9. No longer wants to stand in the way of a great talent like Aaron Rogers

8. Recently diagnosed with severe cheese allergy

7. Sees the fruits of Brad Childress' master plan coming together and realizes the Packers can't compete next year

6. Wants to spend less time with his stalkers

5. Believes there's more money to be made selling his old game worn jock straps on eBay

4. Wanted an excuse to cry on TV like Hillary Clinton

3. Hurt because he didn't feel that John Madden appreciated him enough

2. Tired of pretending he likes people from Wisconsin

1. Has nothing left to shoot for after shattering the NFL career interception record