Top 11 Excuses Minneapolis Mayor RT Rybak Uses To Get Out Of Lame Events

11. That's the night I put flowers on Paul and Sheila's grave

10. I broke my ankle jumping off a float at the Gay Pride Parade

9. I have to organize my sock drawer

8. I'm speaking at a women's rights conference

7. My bike has a flat tire

6. I just, uh, leased a house out in the Hamptons, and I have got to get out there this weekend and sign the papers

5. I'm having a bad hair day

4. I'm too busy writing checks to settle lawsuits against the City of Minneapolis

3. There are too many people with dangerous lifestyles in that neighborhood

2. I'm busy searching for the next great lesbian fire chief candidate

1. The battery in my hybrid car died