Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Top 11 Ways I Would Advise Senator David Vitter To Respond To This Frequenting Prostitutes Thing

11. “It’s hard for a Senator to find a date on his own – just ask Dean Barkley.”

10. “Since when does everyone make a big deal about a Senator whoring around? Next thing you know they’ll be criticizing Senatorial drunkenness.”

9. “I kept hoping I’d get one that looked like Julia Roberts in ‘Pretty Woman’.”

8. “At least I didn’t supply John Belushi with cocaine and write four god-awful movies like a certain Senate candidate I could name.”

7. “I was trying to swing the crucial hooker block into the Republican column.”

6. “It’s not like we’re talking Crack Hos here, these were classy, high-priced escorts.”

5. “I wanted to give myself a reason to take an AIDs test like all of those Democratic Presidential candidates.”

4. “Heard that it was hard out there for a pimp, and wanted to ease their burden.”

3. “Hey, I bet Paris Hilton is up to something wacky, you should look into that.”

2. “Not everyone has the magnetism of Learned Foot doing Iron Maiden karaoke.”

1. “The bitch set me up!”


Anonymous john f not kerry said...

"Look- a squirrel!"

6:00 PM  

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