Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Top 11 Changes Rupert Murdoch Has Planned For the Wall Street Journal

11. Drop editorial page endorsements for President. Add editorial page endorsements for Miss Hawaiian Tropic.

10. Move the paper to Brooklyn and rename it the Flatbush Avenue Journal

9. Generate revenue by selling surplus Pulitzer Prizes to the Star Tribune

8. More titillating headlines like, "Back-Dated Stock Options Found in Topless Bar"

7. Bill O'Reilly permanently given all of page 2 to advertise his latest book

6. Save trees by reducing the paper to tabloid-size

5. Out with boring stock quotes, in with exciting lotto numbers

4. No more of those pinko-commie editorials

3. Protect copyright by stopping Fraters Libertas from reprinting articles

2. Save ink costs by banning the use of capital letters

1. Replace those detailed sketch portraits on the front page with stick figures


Anonymous john f not kerry said...

New Feature: "So you think you can pick stocks?"

7:59 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home