Michael and Me

"Why weren't you at the MOB bash?" people have been asking me. "And why aren't you posting much anymore?"

The answer is that I have been pretty busy. As you likely know, I'm not a big fan of Michael Moore, who just released another vehemently anti-American film titled "Sicko". While the talented St. Paul has watched Moore from a distance and determined a definitive resemblence between the actions and words of Michael Moore and Cape Fear villian Max Cady, I was trying to get closer.

I went off to find Michael Moore to get some answers about his anti-American filmmaking. Boy was he hard to get to.

First I tried conducting an e-mail interview by contacting him on MichaelMoore.com.

I wanted to ask Michael Moore why he, one of the richest filmmakers in the world, felt the need to ridicule and undermine America, the country that has been so good to him, but Michael wasn't talking.

Then I went off to his hometown of Flint, Michigan to see if anyone knew where Michael Moore was. I looked at Burger King. I looked at McDonalds. I looked at Dairy Queen. I even called some local cardiologists, but no one knew where Michael Moore was. The trip wasn't a total loss, though. I did meet Bob Eubanks and learned how to skin a small domesticated animal (not from Bob).

So I kept on trying to find Michael, but to no avail. I guess I should have tried Jimmy Carter's house.