Top 11 Real Reasons The GOP Chose The Twin Cities For The 2008 National Convention

11. Republicans from all over the country wanted to come to Minnesota to laugh at the spectacle of the Al Franken campaign

10. Heard good things about the wonders of a diverse fire department

9. Mayo Clinic and Hazelden both within easy driving distance.

8. The area's awesome light rail system makes getting to the convention so much easier

7. Wanted an area where the major newspaper had an editorial voice friendly to Republicans

6. Thought the anarchists would get lost in the St. Paul streets that were laid out by drunken Irishmen

5. Bosses from the South Side of Chicago paid them off in order to screw the Twins

4. Heard about the fun, family atmosphere at Valley Fair.

3. Karl Rove insisted that he be in town for this year's NARN Scotch Egg eating contest at the State Fair

2. Wanted to ensure the back rooms where the real decisions are made would be smoke free

1. Felt safe knowing that traditionally, Minnesotans riot over hockey not politics.