Saturday, August 02, 2008

Sylly Hate Songs

In the business of blogging, one often comes upon characters who are less than above board. Recently I received an envelope without a return address. It contained something extremely personal that likely was stolen from the home of one Syl Jones. It is a draft of a column for the Minneapolis StarTribune.

I turned the item in question over to the appropriate authorities, who informed me that I was not under investigation. However, they informed me that the contents of the envelope were in no way relevant to the investigation and that I was free to discuss them with whomever I choose. Therefore, I present a draft of the Syl Jones column dated Wednesday November 5, 2008.

Nothing Has Changed: America Still Racist

Millions celebrated into the early hours of the morning. Barak Obama had broken the 230 year grip of the ice people. Now things would be different.

If only that were true. America threw a crumb to the starving masses, and they are acting like they got a feast. The ice media says this is a new day in the history of the US of KKKA. Is it?

Only (enter % here)of ice people voted for Obama. Over 90% of sun people voted for Obama. If nearly everyone in that segment of the population chose Obama, it proves that the other group indeed has cold hard racism in their hearts.

In the south, still a bastion of racism, the numbers were worse. Here was a mainstream Democratic candidate and millions of Democrats did not vote for him only because of the color of his skin. They voted for an ice man so old he may have come from the ice age.

The irony is that though they voted against Obama because of his skin tone, he really isn't a sun person. Obama is not a product of the history of slavery. For all we know his mother's family may have owned slaves. His father's family can be definitively proven not to have felt the burden of victimhood that the sun people share.

When true sun people rushed to support Obama, he tossed them aside. Reverend Wright? Too likely to speak the truth to stay near. And he made his wife smile and wave instead of speak, for fear she would be called uppity.

How will Obama govern? Like an ice person. Just listen to him. He came out against reparations for slavery, the original sin of this nation. On affirmative action, hate crimes and discrimination laws he promises more of the same old platitudes. He's even gone so far as to suggest that poor ice children should receive the help once promised to the victims of slavery. As if their fair skin and cold hearts aren't enough to lift them up to their positions of privilege.

Not convinced? Just wait a few months. President Obama's actions will be put under a microscope in a way that no one has before. Does anyone really think that the ice occupants of the appropriately named White House ever faced real criticism the way a dark-skinned man would?

This election does not mean that race relations are healing. In fact it may put them in the worst shape ever.


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