Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Top 11 Reasons Mitt Romney Won The Minnesota GOP Caucuses

11. He's got such a nice family, dohn'cha know?

10. Desperate attempt to get Hugh Hewitt's attention so that he'll come back to the North Star state

9. He seemed so reasonable

8. He was the candidate we knew the least about

7. Romney cut a back-room deal to bring hot dish to caucus-goers

6. Minnesotans love liberal Republican governors

5. Wanted to avoid guilt of being accused of anti-Mormon bigotry if Romney didn't win

4. Romney promised to crack down and secure Minnesota's eastern border

3. Harold Stassen is dead

2. He reminds us of a young Wheelock Whitney

1. Minnesota conservatives are happiest when they lose elections and thought that Romney gives them the best chance for that

6 Comments:

Anonymous john f not kerry said...

Gotta be the hair.

5:44 PM  
Blogger DiscordianStooge said...

Since your party's candidates are obviously not right-wing enough for you, are you going to stand by your beliefs and not vote for the GOP candidate this year?

7:41 PM  
Anonymous MFB said...

DStooge-

It's a Top 11 list. Lighten up.

9:27 PM  
Blogger DiscordianStooge said...

Sorry. Just getting tired of the "GOP Candidate isn't conservative enough" line. It scares me a little bit.

Quite funny, otherwise.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Nihilist in Golf Pants said...

I'm writing in Mussolini!

11:10 AM  
Anonymous MFB said...

He was a socialist NIGP.

2:42 PM  

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