Thursday, January 31, 2008

Democrat Presidential Debate Drinking Game Live Blog

Welcome to my live blog of the Democrat’s Presidential Debate! I hate debates and haven’t watched a single minute of one this election cycle. However, the Nihilist has put his foot down (and more importantly allowed me to expense some booze) and I am thus going to live blog the Hillary vs. Obama showdown. To ease the pain and perhaps counteract the spinning, I will also be participating in a debate drinking game. If you would like to follow along at home, the drinking game guidelines are outlined in the previous post.

6:56 PM: What channel is CNN on, again? This live blog may be over before it starts. Its got to be somewhere near Fox News. Oh, never mind, there it is.

6:58 PM: CNN has a lame countdown to the debate graphic on it’s screen. Does anyone really need to know when the debate will start to the second? (don’t answer that, Captain Ed). This isn’t the Super Bowl, folks.

7:01 PM: Wolf Blitzer says this debate is the hottest ticket in town. Really Wolf? Hotter than a Long Beach State vs. UC-Riverside basketball ticket? I think not.

7:04 PM: Did Wolf just say the debate would be 90 minutes?!?!? The Nihilist said nothing about that! WARNING: I may bail out early.

7:05 PM: Wolf said that the only rule is that there are no rules. How about what happens at debate club stays at debate club.

7:06 PM: Break into the booze with the first sentence by a candidate! Obama panders to Edwards right off the bat! Mmmmmm tasty Appletini.

7:07 PM: Obama says that he and Hillary were friends before this campaign and will be friends after. Really? Did they hang out in the Senate cloakroom watching the Cubs game or something?

7:09 PM: Hillary says that the current administration is failed. I should have added that to the drinking game. Where is the Edwards pander, Hil? Oh, wait, there it is! Another Appletini for me!

7:12 PM: Another Hillary suck-up to Edwards on health care. Appletini number three! And a “change” from Hil – rum shot.

7:14 PM: First question was about policy differences between the two, apparently health care and the mortgage crisis are differences, but I’m still unclear on what the differences are.

7:17 PM: Another pander to Edwards from Obama on how he and Edwards both hate lobbyists while Hillary loves them. Appletini four.

7:20 PM: Question two is on Health Care. Sounds like Obama’s health plan really is less commie than HillaryCare.

7:23 PM: I’m zoning out on Hillary’s discussion of her health care plan. Checking out Captain’s Quarters, I see that Captain Ed is not live blogging the debate. I guess the torch has passed. Ed has abandoned political coverage just when it has started to get interesting. You should have paced yourself Captain Ed. We at Nihilist in Golf Pants are tanned and rested and ready to offer the finest political coverage on the web.

7:26 PM: Nice shot by Barack on the secrecy of Hillary’s original health care commission.

7:27 PM: CNN is showing celebrities in the audience; I think that was Rob Reiner they just showed! This is a lot like a super bowl!

7:29 PM: Where is the “change” talk? I am starting to get parched. Don’t the Democrats want change? I’m getting sick of Edwards inspired Appletinis. How about a nice attack on the rich?

7:32 PM: Obama attacks tax cuts on the rich!!!!! He says that the rich don’t want tax cuts, but speaking on behalf of the rich, YES WE DO WANT TAX CUTS!! But, I get my first taste of 25 year Macallan.

7:34 PM: Celebrity sighting! A shot of that guy who played George on Seinfeld, I think.

7:35 PM: Hillary twists the tax and spend question back to health care. Hil baby, you’re starting to become a health care boor.

7:37 PM: Obama bashes the rich! More scotch for moi!

7:38 PM: I am getting annoyed by the audience applause. Why do we need debate audiences? Do candidates really need an applause track? True, we would miss out on audience shots of sitcom supporting characters, but I could live with that.

7:40 PM: An immigration question! Time to break into the tequila! Da dot da dot dot dant ta TEQUILA!

7:49 PM: I completely missed the immigration answers because I was preoccupied with my tequila. I’m going to guess at least one of them said “change” so I’ll be having a shot of rum.

7:53 PM: A commercial? Since when do they have commercial breaks in the middle of debates? This did give them a chance to show more celebrities in the audience. I think I saw Stevie Wonder and George Costanza again. Plus, some woman sitting in front of George who looked kinda familiar.

DRINKING GAME RULE CHANGE: Gin when a celebrity is shown in the audience.

Drink update:
Appletinis: 4
Macallan: 2 deep sips
Rum: 2 shots
Tequila: 2 shots
Gin: 2 shots

I won’t lie to ya, I’m startin to feel them.

7:59 PM: Obama talks about “change” when he’s asked about his lack of experience. You know what that means, RUM yum yum.

8:00 PM: Wow, apparently not joining a big law firm means you are practically Mother Theresa.

8:01 PM: I feel like I’m missing some drinking opportunities while typing. You really need a drinking game spotter if you’re gonna do this.

8:02 PM: They just showed Chelsea in the audience. Is she a celebrity? I say for drinking purposes, YES! GIN! Woooot WOooooot

8:04 PM: Ted Kennedy mentioned, Hil mentions her endorsements from other Kennedy’s. She says “change” about a million times! You go girl!!!!!!! Jameson and lots o’ rum!!!!

8:06 P<: ya know what? Hillary is not really that bad a looker. That necklace is aqua and quite fetching.

8:08 PM: Hillary is writing something, I hope it is her phone number. Ask her what her digits r Wolfie.

8:10 PM: Mary Kat Who? We conservative should admit that Hillary has a darn nice smile. Lovely and caprtivating. Wait, there’s Pierce brosnan, James Bond and Remington Steal! I bet he is goin to try to go home with Hil. Hands off bond.

8:12 PM: celebs! They showed Meathead again and Diane Keaton going out to another commericail b reak! Gin, Gin and Gin! I would like to propose at tost: To the blue in H`illary’s eyes111111

8:17PM I love it when Hil baby has a serious look. Those aqua earring are lovely they bring out the aqua in your hair.

8L:19: I think I just saw ugly betty sitting next to Peta Sellers. Two gins. Stop taliking Barack, your have big ears and no one wants to look at yo. At least show hilly when hes talk.

8:22PM: Lay off on the swips at hilly, Osama/ T-Wolf called you on it, Ha ha ha. Hilly was nice and gracious and cute about it. More then you deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeseeeerve.

8:26 PM: Me likey how hill grasps amnd ungrasps her hands. Very sexy!!!

8:31 PM: shut it Obie wan bananana. We wanta see hill.

8:33 PM: Careful ther hill don’t say mean things about bad actors when you have so many of them in watching th edebate there in Hollywood. They will forgive you because everyone loves yor.

8:35 PNMM: Hil you look cuty when you talk about surrenderinggg. You can surrenter to me baby,

8:38 PM: What is Hilllllllllllllllls best side? [I say left, right ANDD center)

8:41 PM:You know what would be cool? If Hil were to debatge in a bikini.

Lrry Sanders!! Where did I put that gin?

Spielberg shown. He should make a hillary movie. Like when hillary leafs her no good 2 timimig husband an runs off with a sexy consrvatib blogger. Like odd cupple meets some chick flick

Ohhh sexy laff

Hands off barak! No touchy.

Wait done already? What? No! More@ Moe More!@

Ah well, room spinning spinning good night Hil.


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