Top 11 Reasons Elliot Spitzer Patronized High-End Prostitutes
11. Was under the mistaken impression he could pardon himself
10. Doing his part to stimulate the economy
9. The manuscript for his autobiography was universally rejected for being "really dull"
8. His wife wants to run for President
7. Trying to live up to Bill Richardson's description of him as "the future of the (Democratic) party"
6. After winning title "Crusader of the Year" from Time magazine, was gunning for coveted "John of the Year" award from COYOTE
5. Already had every street hooker in NYC
4. Screwing the taxpayers of New York gets boring after a while
3. Wanted to try to win another "Businessperson of the Year" award for helping out small businesses like the Emperors Club
2. Was not visiting the prostitutes for sex--he was just checking that their worker's comp insurance was up to date
1. No woman would voluntarily sleep with a guy named Elliot
10. Doing his part to stimulate the economy
9. The manuscript for his autobiography was universally rejected for being "really dull"
8. His wife wants to run for President
7. Trying to live up to Bill Richardson's description of him as "the future of the (Democratic) party"
6. After winning title "Crusader of the Year" from Time magazine, was gunning for coveted "John of the Year" award from COYOTE
5. Already had every street hooker in NYC
4. Screwing the taxpayers of New York gets boring after a while
3. Wanted to try to win another "Businessperson of the Year" award for helping out small businesses like the Emperors Club
2. Was not visiting the prostitutes for sex--he was just checking that their worker's comp insurance was up to date
1. No woman would voluntarily sleep with a guy named Elliot
posted by Misanthropic Frat Boy at 3/10/2008 03:53:00 PM
2 Comments:
It beats patronizing low-end prostitutes
In his boring pseudo-confession, I was waiting for the teary admission of "I AM A HORNY AMERICAN", a la Jim Greevy. But that doesn't work unless your gay.
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