Monday, September 18, 2006

Notre Dame’s Top 11 Excuses For Being Routed By Michigan

11. Charlie Weis just wasn't the same after his swollen head got stuck in the tunnel on the way onto the field

10. Jesus was so distracted by unrest in the Middle East that he completely forgot about the game

9. Coach Weis is a big supporter of the Taxpayer’s League of Minnesota and he heard that the Nihilist in Golf Pants would donate $100 to them if the Irish lost to Michigan

8. The notoriously intelligent Fighting Irish were distracted by their running arguments over super-string theory

7. After helping Holy Cross beat the Gopher hockey team last April, God is taking a break from sports for a while

6. Deep down, Notre Dame Nation didn’t want to win a National Championship and overshadow the memory of Lou Holtz’s 1988 Championship

5. FBI investigation of radical Christian terrorist cells on campus distracted players

4. After entire team went to see the Vagina Monologues together on Friday night, it's hardly surprising that they played like pussies on Saturday

3. Muslim players on the Irish squad were protesting the Pope’s remarks

2. Would rather be embarrassed early in the season by Michigan than by Ohio State in the BCS Championship game

1. Unscrupulous Michigan team kept taking the ball away from the Irish offense


Blogger Angel Feathers Tickle Me said...

Love to all.....

9:07 AM  
Blogger Margaret said...

hahaha! Love it.

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Kim said...

From an honest-to-Touchdown-Jesus Irish fan and the mother of a current "Double Domer" (BA with Law school in progress), this is freakin' hilarious!

Boy that was PAINFULL!

I still thought they could pull it off with less than six minutes to go....I really did.

And then that last interception.

Did Michigan HAVE to have a cement wall for a defense?

Did Brady HAVE to throw 20 feet OVER Jeff?

Ah well.

Look at it this way, now there will be excitement at every game because Notre Dame won't get cocky and we fans won't expect a win until we get it.

Go Irish - love ya no matter what the Fraters Guys say!

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Margaret said...

I actually have to agree with Kim. I kept expecting Notre Dame to come back, partly because Michigan was entirely capable of choking and Notre Dame was such a good team I thought they could wake up and stage a comeback.

Carr has been taking a lot of flak lately. I guess he really must have done his homework on the Irish.

Has anyone done a welfare check on Nihilist? Not a peep out of him since before Saturday.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Chad The Elder said...

Be careful using the words "welfare check" around the NIGP. He's a little sensitive about the whole Medicare prescription drug benefit cow that his company is milking.

2:05 PM  

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