Thursday, September 07, 2006

Top 11 Thoughts That Went Through My Head While Watching The Steven Seagal Film "Hard To Kill" On Wednesday Night

11. Steven Seagal racks up a body count that makes Amy Klobuchar's Minneapolis seem tame.

10. Seagal goes into a coma in 1983 and wakes up in 1990. Why is he surprised to see George H.W. Bush as president? Lots of vice presidents become president.

9. Kelly LeBrock certainly was more shapely in 1990 than earlier this year when she appeared on "Celebrity Fit Club."

8. John Hinderacker is probably reading four newspapers while I am watching "Hard to Kill." Yet, I'd wager he has no idea who Steven Seagal is.

7. It is appropriate that this film is on the American Movie Classics channel; it is a classic.

6. "Hard to Kill" is the second best Steven Seagal movie ever, next to "Under Siege."

5. After being in a coma for seven years, Seagal can get into ass-kicking shape in next to no time.

4. When Seagal is in the coma, why did they shave his beard into a goatee, but allowed the goatee to grow untrimmed?

3. Being the female lead in a movie with Steven Seagal must make a gal fat. Erika Eleniak, co-star in "Under Siege" is currently on "Celebrity Fit Club."

2. "Eleven Who Care" is on KARE 11 tonight, right after "Hard to Kill." I wonder if David Strom will win an award?

1. Mason Storm is a kick ass name. It's even better than Max Power.

3 Comments:

Blogger Margaret said...

Erika Eleniak is in celebrity fit club? Now you've just made David cry.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Don't forget the Steven Seagal home game!

12:16 PM  
Anonymous spaniard said...

#4. i thought the same heh

you have to do a 11 list with this one
http://www.express.co.uk/news_detail.html?sku=381

1:30 PM  

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