Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Top 11 Highlights of the Democratic Katrina-Response Plan

11. Insurance companies will be required to pay all claims whether the claimant had a policy or not

10. Gigantic sponges will be pre-deployed to warehouses in low lying areas of New Orleans

9. Press releases blaming George Bush and Republicans will be pre-deployed to news outlets

8. School busses will be replaced with land/sea transports

7. All buildings outside the flood plane will be comdemmed and bulldozed, because it wouldn’t be fair for some residents to once again not be flooded

6. Hollywood script writers will be brought in to suggest atrocities that might be happening

5. Legislation to ban future hurricanes from making landfall in predominantly minority areas

4. Taxes will be raised on the rich

3. The definition of “rich” will be lowered from $45,000 yearly household income to $30,000

2. Whenever a category two or higher hurricane is approaching New Orleans, Ted Kennedy will be deployed to the levees so that he can plug any breech with his fat ass

1. A new level of federal bureaucracy will be created to oversee and coordinate between the agencies providing funds and regulation that will proactively streamline the processes while ensuring that all federal labor laws and regulations are strictly enforced


Blogger Chad The Elder said...

12. Medical advances made by research using embryonic stem cells will allow humans to breathe underwater, saving many lives when the next hurricane strikes.

13. All National Guard troops will be redeployed from overseas allowing them to fulfill their real mission: passing out water bottles.

5:07 PM  
Blogger TOR Hershman said...

It's all for the k-ids.

Stay on Groovin' Safari,

11:15 PM  

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