Friday, December 28, 2007

Top 11 Causes For The Tiger Attack At The San Francisco Zoo

11. Cheney's secret award of no-bid contract to Haliburton to provide zoo services

10. Tiger misheard victim’s observation that “He looks just like a Tigger toy”

9. Garth Snow questioned the development the tiger was getting in the zoo and signed him to the Islanders

8. Tiger was angry that he wasn't able to see his bookie about laying big money on LSU

7. Victim disparaged Kellogg's Frosted Flakes

6. Tiger was bored from watching reruns, due to the TV writers strike

5. If we weren't spending so much money in Iraq we could afford to rebuild parts of our vital infrastructure like zoos

4. Global warming

3. Tiger mistook the victim for Roy Horn

2. The dude called him a pussy

1. He was juiced up on the steroids Barry Bonds accidentally dropped into his cage


Anonymous Socal Bill said...

12. Well, you know, it's like it's, you know, uh, it's like Bush's fault, cuz, you know, there's Cheney and you know all those guys, so you know?

2:12 AM  
Anonymous Shaka Khan said...

California National Guardsmen who should have been on tiger patrol were deployed to Iraq instead.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Zookeepers relied on NIE assessment that the tiger had given up its attack program in 2003.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous John F Not Kerry said...

Lack of adequate health insurance for zoo animals.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Bike Bubba said...

For reference, the tiger was a "tigress," or a "she."

12:31 PM  

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