Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Top 11 Suggested Other Names for the Greedy Developer In Shark Swarm

The Hallmark Channel debuts their blockbuster original movie "Shark Swarm" next month. Scary title. But, despite the title billing, it seems the sharks will be the least of our concern:

Armand Assante stars as Hamilton Lux, a greedy developer who dumps toxic waste into a California bay in an attempt to get the locals to sell their land.

Because nothing says "development opportunity" like toxic waterfront property.

OK, so a few holes may exist in the plot. The character names could be better too. Sure, Hamilton Lux implies "evil rich guy". But this is a made-for-cable movie. You need to beat the audience over the head with the symbolism in order for it to work. In that spirit, we propose the Top 11 suggested other names for the greedy developer in Shark Swarm:

11) Max Killifish

10) Biff Swineheart

9) Strom Misanthrope

8) George W. Cheney

7) DeForest Fowler

6) Evilyn Richman

5) Richman Savage

4) Payne Pawlenty

3) Stony Hart

2) I.P. Onpour

1) John Hinderaker


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