Top 11 Highlights of the Upcoming Save Our Selves (SOS) Global Warming Concert

11. Britney will reveal that she had to shave her head because global warming was making her skull too hot

10. Dissident climatologists will be frozen in effigy

9. Fly-by of the performer’s private jets

8. Ashley Simpson and the surviving member of Milli Vanilli will lip-synch the IPCC climate report

7. A naked Mitch Berg will storm the stage at the Antarctica concert and harangue the crowd that the only way to experience significant climate warming is to move from North Dakota to Minnesota

6. Bush just might be bashed

5. Nancy Pelosi will announce funding for a Manhattan Project to develop a hybrid luxury military jet

4. Cameron Diaz will plead with the audience to run their air conditioners with their doors open in a last ditch effort to cool down the planet

3. Snoop Dogg will present an expert who will argue that second-hand marijuana smoke counteracts global warming by “mellowing out” the atmosphere

2. Donald Trump will announce his latest project, Trump Tower: Barrow, Alaska

1. The Red Hot Chili Peppers will announce their name change to Even More Red Hot Because Of Climate Change Chili Peppers