Friday, September 14, 2007

Top 11 Reasons Twins GM Terry Ryan Decided To Step Aside

11. Needs to start training now if he hopes to be the Twins DH next year

10. To continue his search for the real Ramon Ortiz

9. Took a new position with the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners

8. Bert Blyleven's hair plug guy told him he'd need at least a year off for recovery

7. He saw an x-ray of Joe Mauer's knees

6. He saw an estimate of Johan Santana's next salary demand

5. He got a look at Nick Punto's batting average

4. Wants to devote all his attention to scouting for more weak-hitting utility players

3. Could no longer tolerate the fact Wally the Beerman earns more than he does

2. Had to quit because doing donuts in the parking lot with the ‘87 World Series trophy tied to the back of his car wasn’t enough to get fired

1. After winning all those division titles, what more was there to accomplish?


Anonymous john f not kerry said...

Carl Pohlad was going to make him work on Christmas, and he was worried about Tiny Tim's worsening condition.

7:45 PM  

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