Top 11 Upcoming Smears On Sarah Palin

11. She once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

10. She refuses to use Susan B. Anthony dollars

9. She cut off Ted Kennedy and forced his car off the Chappaquiddick Bridge

8. She has a violently insane son chained up in her basement

7. She had an affair with her teenage gardener

6. She shot a guy in the face while bird hunting and then blackmailed Dick Cheney into taking the blame

5. She convinced Carl Pohlad that there was no need to shore up the Twins bullpen

4. She founded the Crab Orchard, West Virginia branch of the KKK

3. She piloted one of the planes that was crashed into the World Trade Center

2. She thinks there are only 50 states in the union

1. She has never read a single book in the Oprah book club