Top 11 Accusations I would make if I were Writing a Hillary Smear Biography

11. Chelsea was conceived after Hillary raped Bill.
10. She founded the Little Rock, Arkansas cell of Al-Qaeda.
9. Nearly left Bill to marry true love, Nick Coleman.
8. Had a lesbian affair with the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt.
7. Has an iPod full of illegally downloaded music.
6. She ghost-wrote the romantic dialog in Star Wars 3: ROTS.
5. Has never been seen at the same time and place with Lyndie England.
4. Hillary is Paris Hilton’s real mother.
3. It is hard to find, but she once made a porn tape with Michael Moore.
2. Every Fourth of July she gets drunk on French wine, burns a flag, and urinates on the Statue of Liberty.
1. Used eminent domain to condemn an orphanage to make way for a new Wal-Mart.