Friday, July 01, 2005

Top 11 Explanations for the Minnesota Senate Democrats’ Decision to Adjourn Before Reaching a Budget Deal

EDITOR’S NOTE: This top 11 list was tortured out of Sisyphus while he was detained at Gitmo.

11. Needed to leave immediately if they were going to get to Wisconsin before all hell broke lose in the wake of the Minnesota government shut down.
10. They were so excited about the next installment of One Day in the Life of Sisyphus that they couldn’t concentrate anyway.
9. Legislating isn’t very fun if you can’t tax and spend at will.
8. They had to get down to the Fitzgerald Theater immediately – rumor had it that Lindsay Lohan really, really likes old white liberals.
7. They all flew to Thailand to see that Giant Catfish in person.
6. Legislating was cutting into their “Real World: Austin, Texas” viewing.
5. They had a wedding to attend in Spain.
4. Depressed when they found out that despite the fact that they’re Senators, they won’t be able to filibuster the nomination of Sandra Day O’Connor’s replacement.
3. They wanted to adjourn in time to celebrate Canada Day.
2. Had to get in line for “War of the Worlds”.
1. Why not? The Strib is going to blame Pawlenty no matter what they do.

CORRECTION: Thanks to Learned Foot at the Kool-Aid Report for pointing out that the name of the show is "Real World" not "Real Life". Your knowledge of MTV reality shows is clearly superior to that of the Nihilist in Golf Pants.


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