Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Top 11 Reasons Why Mommy Is A Democrat

A new book has just been published called "Why Mommy Is a Democrat." According to the Lizz Winstead blurb, it's a "sweet, children's tale that reminds us why we are all Democrats."

As a service to the children of America who haven't read it yet, we remind them of the Top 11 Reasons Why Mommy Is a Democrat.

11. She only wants to take this "mommy" thing so far and would like abort all her future children

10. Mommy is tired of daddy and would like to marry another woman

9. Mommy considers Bush to be Hitler, because of that time his press conference interrupted Days of Our Lives

8. Mommy would give the White House Press Corps 24 hour advance notice before shooting Harry Whittington in the face

7. Mommy is a member of Oprah’s Book Club

6. Mommy is a public employee union representative

5. Daddy enjoyed Brokeback Mountain more than mommy did

4. Mommy used to be a Green until she helped give the election to George W. Bush

3. Mommy always wanted to be like Barbra Streisand

2. Mommy can't find a husband and considers the government to be daddy

1. Mommy is nice, Republicans are mean

11 Comments:

Blogger SkyePuppy said...

12. Mommy knows that all those other people with SUVs are causing global warming and destroying the planet. But she needs to keep her SUV so you can be safe, Sweetie.

7:44 PM  
Blogger The Gentle Cricket said...

Great Post. I made some corrections of my own.

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Becasuse Daddy told her to be, Dammit!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Chad The Elder said...

Mommy wants to be on the sucking end of the teat for a change.

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure glad people around here are clear thinkers. WFB, Jr. is a treasonous traitor. How dare he not support the troops in time of war? Doesn't
he believe in America? If he's not against the Islamofascists, I guess he's for them. (All
snark).

For real, WFB, Jr. is one of the biggest losers I have ever known. He makes the most
unsuccessful crack whore seem like a success. Unreal. On his 80th birthday, he bragged that
his readers were too stupid and/or lazy to provide worthy content for the Notes and Asides
section of his rag on a regular basis. He further prided himself on having to borrow $400,000
from his father to start his business and continue to lose money every single year thereafter,
approx. $500,000 a year or $25,000,000 over the course of his 50 years of pompous, elitist,
kind of gay, like to take Tucker Carlson's bow tie for a spin kind of way. He is so
delusional he prides himself, a captain of self-reliance, on kind people bailing him out of
his financial woes each and every year. Then he has the nerve to criticize a left wing
publication for making a profit.

Thanks for the memories.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Tucker Carlson's tie a bottom or a top?

I prefer the tight squeeze of the Windsor knot myself.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Tiny Montgomery said...

I'm glad you took William F. Buckley, Jr. out of your masthead. It was really stinking up the joint.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous King Bastard said...

Our version is funnier (and more truthful): http://www.thosebastards.com/archives/2204/

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooo. Sounds like Daddy is scared of Mommy saying no to his sperm.

I think the whole thing is bullshit--mommy and daddy, the two political parties, bipolar thinking in general.

And I'm sick of being coerced to labor in the salt mills to fill the tincups of whiny demanding women who think getting knocked up is some huge accomplishment.

Humans have been squirting out more humans for millions of years. BFD. At least real squirrels have the sense to eat their babies when there are too many of them. Rather than demanding more and more and more and more of others, and stalking around righteously.

The biggest consumers/polluters/breeders I know are "environmentalist" Democrats. They are also the most hostile to people who don't want to pay for their privileges, their entitlements, their E tickets...and the ones they teach their brats to have.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey,you have a nice site.if you get a chance take a look at mine at http://www.acheapseat.com/barbra_streisand_tickets.html

2:15 PM  
Blogger Dubya said...

Hilarious!

3:49 PM  

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