Sunday, February 19, 2006

Top 11 Accidents It Would Be An Honor To Be The Victim Of

One thing we’ve learned from the Dick Cheney hunting incident is that there are some accidents that it is almost an honor to be the victim of (assuming, unlike Harry Whittington, you don’t have health complications). Here are the top 11 (injury-free) accidents it would be an honor to be a victim of:

11. Burnt by an ash from Winston Churchill’s cigar

10. Doused with a martini spilled by Dean Martin

9. Collateral spittle from General Patton chewing out a goldbricker (assuming you are not that goldbricker)

8. In the line of sight of a Scarlett Johansson wardrobe malfunction

7. Machete injury while clearing brush with Ronald Reagan

6. Bumped into by a daydreaming Albert Einstein

5. Nudged on the freeway by Dale Earnhardt

4. Hit by debris from James Lileks’ garage door.

3. Crushed beneath Bill Gates’ wallet

2. Toes run over by FDR’s wheelchair

1. Step in rabbit droppings left by Carter’s killer swamp rabbit


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