Nick Coleman's Top 11 Rules For Step Mothers
In Nick Coleman's latest column, he takes to task the latest Midwest heroes ad. His salient point is that one of the gold star parents (parents who lost a child in the war effort) who appears in the ad is really a step mother of the hero. Nick, using his usual leaps of logic, takes this unimportant factoid and extrapolates that the entire ad is a lie.
It is too easy for me to dismiss anything the bitter liberal crank Coleman says. After all, his columns are generally nothing more than partisan hackery. However, Coleman does happen to be an expert in the field of step mothers. His own step mother helped procure him his first professional newspaper job as well as a feature columnist job. He also married a woman who became step mother to his oldest children. Therefore, I present Nick Coleman's top 11 rules for Step Mothers:
11. Cannot actually raise a step child
10. Cannot be proud of step child's accomplishments (especially if child joins military)
9. Cannot use her step child's service in Iraq to justify her support for the war effort
8. Can use her step child's service in Iraq to justify her criticism of the war effort
7. Cannot use her name in a commercial honoring step child's sacrifice
6. Cannot grieve if step child is killed in a war that she and child both support
5. Can lure a father of six to abandon his family (also ok for father of three)
4. Can become pregnant with three children to replace the three that the father left when he abandoned his first family
3. Can defy the American Dental Association's rules for dental hygiene; who does she need to impress anyway
2. Can line up unqualified step child with no professional experience for a cushy job at her newspaper's sister paper
1. Can line up step child for a even cushier job at newspaper where she is editor
It is too easy for me to dismiss anything the bitter liberal crank Coleman says. After all, his columns are generally nothing more than partisan hackery. However, Coleman does happen to be an expert in the field of step mothers. His own step mother helped procure him his first professional newspaper job as well as a feature columnist job. He also married a woman who became step mother to his oldest children. Therefore, I present Nick Coleman's top 11 rules for Step Mothers:
11. Cannot actually raise a step child
10. Cannot be proud of step child's accomplishments (especially if child joins military)
9. Cannot use her step child's service in Iraq to justify her support for the war effort
8. Can use her step child's service in Iraq to justify her criticism of the war effort
7. Cannot use her name in a commercial honoring step child's sacrifice
6. Cannot grieve if step child is killed in a war that she and child both support
5. Can lure a father of six to abandon his family (also ok for father of three)
4. Can become pregnant with three children to replace the three that the father left when he abandoned his first family
3. Can defy the American Dental Association's rules for dental hygiene; who does she need to impress anyway
2. Can line up unqualified step child with no professional experience for a cushy job at her newspaper's sister paper
1. Can line up step child for a even cushier job at newspaper where she is editor
posted by Nihilist in Golf Pants at 2/20/2006 12:00:00 AM
2 Comments:
What is it with Nick? How can he be so left-winged Batty and not have his employer ask him to "put a cork in it"?
I'd like to ask where Nick comes up with this idea of astro-turfing? These are real people, courageous soldiers, and bold families who are willing to step up to those in the media like Nick. Nick's attempts to trivialize their efforts as some grand conspiracy is ridiculous.
Nick furthermore believe America is divided over the war. Well this is partly due to those in the media such as Mr. Coleman that look to taint the accomplishments of our soldiers and the pride of their families. The American public can't decide what they read in the news. So when the media paints the picture of failures and bombings, of course there will be a sect of Americans who believe that is all that is going on.
Thankfully we have soldiers and families like those in these ads who are willing to step up to the plate and let Americans know that there's more going on in Iraq than the occasional and unfortunate roadside bomb.
Post a Comment
<< Home