Top 11 Reasons to Kill Terri Schiavo

I’m all for the efforts to save Terri Schiavo, but I’m open-minded enough to consider alternative views. So, here are the top 11 reasons to kill Terri Schiavo.

11. We can’t let everyone just die of natural causes – that would be chaos.
10. This precedent will come in handy when my ex-trophy wives try to claim that they are starving on the meager alimony I’m paying them.
9. If doctors determine that Terri Schiavo can never enjoy hockey again, her life won’t be worth living anyway.
8. All of those PhD bioethicists can’t be wrong.
7. On principle, the state shouldn’t interfere when a husband wants his wife dead.
6. Bush lied about WMDs, how do we know he’s not lying about the lack of food and water leading to death?
5. Just because you look good on a video tape doesn’t mean you’re not brain dead – consider Alec Baldwin.
4. Hmmm, maybe this will lead to the removal of Alec Baldwin’s feeding tube.
3. The Florida courts have never steered us wrong before.
2. Nick Coleman may call us wingnuts if we don’t let her die.
1. Put your self in her position. Would you want to go on living if you were married to Michael Schiavo?