Top 11 Reasons Former Klansman Robert Byrd (D-WV) Is Running For Re-Election To The United States Senate

The founder of the Crab Orchard, WV chapter of the Ku Klux Klan has announced his intention to run for re-election to the United States Senate. Here are his top 11 reasons for running:

11. So many crosses yet to burn

10. So many Federal buildings in West Virginia not yet named after him

9. If he leaves the Senate, who will represent the interests of former Klansmen?

8. Pork! Pork! Pork!

7. Trying to organize the Democratic caucus into a new KKK branch.

6. Still hoping to succeed in repealing the thirteenth amendment.

5. His Klan past diverts attention from his good friend Ted Kennedy’s past

4. Gets a kick out of making the race baiters in the Democratic Party look like hypocrites for supporting him.

3. No one else can get billions in federal hurricane relief money spent in West Virginia.

2. Wants another term so he can devote it to convincing the world that the KKK was never anything more than a peaceful, non-racist, social organization.

1. Karl Rove offered him 500,000 shares of Halliburton if he would run again.