Senator Robert Byrd’s Top 11 Excuses for Having Founded the Crab Orchard, WV Chapter of the Ku Klux Klan

11. He thought he was forming an organization for chicken farmers.
10. He originally wanted to found a branch of the Republican Party, but knew that the press would never let him live that down.
9. His goal was to create a kinder, gentler Klan.
8. He was so poor this was the only way he could get his hands on bed sheets.
7. He needed to create a sordid past that he could then rise above.
6. Let he who has not founded a violent, racist community organization throw the first stone.
5. At least he didn’t start a Nazi-Soviet-Pol Pot-style Gulag like a certain President he could mention.
4. Someone had to stop the Jews from taking over Crab Orchard, West Virginia.
3. He knew those lessons in hate would come in handy some day – and when George W, Bush was elected President, they did!.
2. He wasn’t actually anti-black, anti-Semitic, or anti-Catholic. He just wanted to have the cool title of “Exalted Cyclops”.
1. All of those crosses weren’t going to burn themselves.