Thursday, December 01, 2005

Top 11 People Who Had The Worst Thanksgiving Week

11. George W. Bush, who received the following endorsement from 50 Cent:

He's is incredible. . . A gangster. I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him.

10. Oregon Ducks fans, whose team will probably be left out of the BCS, despite a 10-1 season

9. Orlando Wal*Mart shoppers, who missed out on deeply discounted computers in a near riot.

8. The Minnesota Golden Gopher basketball team, who lost an early season tune-up game to would-be patsy Gardner-Webb.

7. Priest wannabees with homosexual tendencies, who the Vatican shut out with a restrictive new policy.

6. Illegal immigrants, who won't get amnesty under the President's new plan.

5. Steve Mariucci, who was fired after never being able to outsmart Mike Tice.

4. Paul Martin, whose Canuck government got a no confidence vote.

3. Nick Lachey, whose smokin' hot wife left him on Thanksgiving.

2. Rachel of The Real World: Austin, who admits she wets the bed when drunk in the previews to next weeks outtakes episode.

1. Johanna of the Real World: Austin, who admits she is dating ugly and uncouth Wes during last night's reunion show.


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