Top 11 UN Backed Cease Fire Terms For Israel

11. Free grave stones to terrorism victims (provided they don't request a Star of David)

10. Hezbollah promises not to break the cease fire until it feels like it

9. The UN General Assembly will listen to Alanis Morsette's album "Jagged Little Pill" in an attempt to understand the problem with equating Israel to Nazi Germany

8. Hezbollah promises to limit civilian bus bombings to 2 per month

7. The UN still won't condemn Hezbollah's terrorism, but will agree that both sides made mistakes

6. When the time comes, Israeli delegation will be allowed to mourn Fidel Castro's passing with the rest of the UN

5. The UN will pretend to care about nuclear proliferation in Iran

4. After Israel is destroyed, the UN promises to offer a resolution decrying the genocide

3. UN agrees to prioritize undermining America's effort in Iraq ahead of undermining Israel's security

2. An iron-clad guarantee that Iran won't nuke Israel until 2008

1. A 3rd apology from Mel Gibson