Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Nihilists Top 11 Money Saving Tips For Laid Off Northwest Employees

11. I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?

10. Buy a squeegee and bottle of windshield washing fluid and be your own boss!

9. The grocery store calls them samples, you call them lunch

8. Lay claim to your heating grate early on those cold winter nights

7. Don't pay those high internet fees when you can surf for porn for free at any public library

6. If you get up at 4am on Saturday and stand in line downtown for 6 hours a dude will give you 8 bucks per Outkast concert ticket

5. Have you kids play "treasure hunt" at public water-fountains

4. Dog food: it ain't just for Fido anymore

3. Vote DFL, they'll give you money

2. Invest in 366 fake IDs – each with a different birthday – and drink free every day

1. Solid food is for teenagers--nurse your toddler through the 8th grade


Blogger DiscordianStooge said...

Yeah, but where's the joke list?

5:07 PM  
Anonymous John F Not Kerry said...

Since you'll only be sleeping for 8 hours, you won't need a pillow or blanket, unless you want to pay extra for them.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Sisyphus said...

Start charging your guests for snacks and drinks

2:08 PM  

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