Friday, August 11, 2006

Dream Weaver

When Googling "Paul Douglas toupee" I came across a piece in the Strib where he says his little creature up there is NOT a toop, but rather a "transplant". I need to do some research on this transplant thing. Is it the same as a weave? How am I going to spot these?

Right from the horse's mouth (horse's hair toop?) are Paul's words on his hair situation. Notice how he tries to make the person asking the off-hand question seem unusual or weird when HE is the one with the dead animal matter on top of his head:

What's up with Paul Douglas' hair? Something has changed. Perhaps a toupee?" e-mailed Chasm, about the WCCO-TV meteorologist.

Said Douglas: "Tell that guy he's got a little too much free time. Some of these people accuse of us being vain, vacuous and shallow on television, and then what do they talk about? OUR HAIR?"

The hair is not a toupee but transplanted. "It has a wave, and I've been bringing it [to the] front a little more. At a different time I was taking it straight back, but it was too poofy," he said.


Notice how he refers to his hair as "The hair" as if it has a life of it's own. And also note his bizarre use of verb tense--the hair is "transplanted". Transplanted from what?

UPDATE:

I did a little research and it seems to me that a transplant is the same thing as plugs. They take hair from where you have it and plant in places you don't. That would make Douglas' claims utter horse-hockey since you can see the horseshoe shape of his real hair and the clear toop residing in the middle.

Here is how the transplant process works:

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know you're in danger of being accused of a toop trope by the follicly challenged community don't you?

Sometimes it helps to own the derision before it gets used against you...so in the interest of maintaining the dignity of NIGP I hereby proclaim you the MOB's official Hair Nazi's!

3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Swiftee,

You don't...nah...you don't...couldn't be...you don't...I can't even bring myself to ask!

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No go ahead, really...do I still bang your wife?

No.

Ms. Swiftee has taken to frowning upon my philanthropic endevours and no longer allows even the occasional pity bang.

12:18 AM  

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