Saturday, August 12, 2006

Gun Violence Epidemic To Spread To St. Paul?

In his laugh out loud satire "Newspaper Newlyweds", Frater "St. Paul" pretended to chronicle the day to day life of Nick Coleman and Laura Billings, two pseudo-populist titans of the Twin Cities Metro sections. His goal, in my opinion, was to use their methods, including sloppy research, wild assumptions, and out-of-context quotes to create a narrative that proved his point. Unlike most bloggers, Coleman and Billings get paid for performing origami with the truth and wrapping it up in their personal (liberal) world-view.

Eventually St. Paul got tired of the game and quit creating new episodes of Newspaper Newlyweds. His explanation was burnout. Adding to the burnout is the simple fact that it is hard to build on good satire. To do so requires an increasing level of ridiculousness that eventually becomes too much. It looks like that level of absurdity may have hit the palatial Coleman-Billings home-front. Nick has apparently had enough and is buying a handgun. What was going through his head? Why is a bleeding heart like Nick willing to carry a gun?

State law (statute 609.065) says taking a life is justifiable when "necessary" to prevent "great bodily harm or death" from being inflicted.

Who could be threatening Nick? I know one blogger threatened to nuke him, but I think that was a joke. Upon further reading, it looks like the threat might come from a little closer to home:

I hate that it has come to this.

My wife might shoot me. . . And she's an excellent shot.

He can't be serious. Maybe this is just hyperbole.

This is hard stuff: Are you willing to use deadly force and to live with the ramifications of killing another person, even in self-defense? Not everyone can answer yes. When I reached that point of the training, I almost dropped out. But I didn't.

State law (statute 609.065) says taking a life is justifiable when "necessary" to prevent "great bodily harm or death" from being inflicted.

He wouldn't really go through with this, would he?

I went to my county sheriff's office on a Thursday, filled out an application for a gun permit and wrote a check for $100. By law, a sheriff has 30 days to approve or deny an application. My permit came in the mail the next Friday. Lock and load.

I still have some choices to make. Should I get a revolver or a pistol? A 9-millimeter, or a .38 Special that loads .357 Magnum rounds, for greater stopping power?

Given her penchant foe eating stale Doritos and ice cream lately, I'd recommend as much stopping power as possible.


Post a Comment

<< Home