Saturday, December 17, 2005

Top 11 Reasons the Minneapolis City Council Refuses to Rescind the Smoking Ban

We do sometimes do top 11 list requests. This list was requested by Marcus Aurelius of Clearing the Air.

11. The council members wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing that someone might be being forced into a smoky bar at gunpoint.

10. Manhattan doesn’t allow smoking in bars and New York has more tourism and less crime than Minneapolis.

9. Bob Moffitt has videotape of key council members endorsing George W. Bush.

8. Brokeback Mountain (This has nothing to do with the smoking ban – we’re just emulating the Mainstream Media by mentioning it as often as possible.)

7. Don’t want to do anything that might upset the StarTribune editorial board.

6. Don’t want to dilute “the right to choose” by allowing choices that merely have a small chance of killing someone.

5. They’ve been afraid of cigars ever since they got Bill Clinton into trouble.

4. Studies show that it is healthier to live in a smoke-free homeless shelter than work in a smoky bar.

3. The council believes that the smoking ban will reduce crime in Minneapolis by shunting off the degenerate smokers on St. Paul.

2. Hitler smoked, didn’t he?

1. Slippery Slope: If smoking is allowed in bars the next thing you know we’ll be allowing people to bicycle while wearing headphones and before you know it Minneapolis will have the same freedoms as communist China – BUT EVERYONE WILL BE DEAD!!!

2 Comments:

Blogger marcus aurelius said...

Don't forget Rybak's stance:

Bar & restaurant owners were engaged in "high risk lifestyles" by being allowed to run their business on free market choice principles.

Wouldn't it be nice if the mayor & city council put as much effort & tax dollars into crime prevention as they do for secondhand smoke prevention.

Apparently violent crime & murder is just a nuisance.....while secondhand smoke is deadly.

6:54 PM  
Blogger Eightgun said...

Minnesota--"You're free to do whatever you want here, as long as we approve of it."

11:41 PM  

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