Top 11 Real Reasons Garrison Keillor is Not Moving “A Prairie Home Companion” from St. Paul

11. Natural reaction to cornpone humor in St. Paul: courtesy laugher. In Manhattan: the F-word.

10. Some irreverent New York wiseacre might refer to the show as “A Prairie Ho Companion”.

9. New York women don’t fall for his favorite line: “Has anyone ever told you that you have the tits of an angel?”

8. New York women don’t fall for his back-up line: “Hey baby, how would you like me to powdermilk your biscuits?”

7. Since few people outside of Minnesota know who he is, it would be harder for him to play the put-upon celebrity.

6. “The News from Lake Brooklyn” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

5. The New York Times delivers to St. Paul, but the Star Tribune does NOT deliver to Manhattan.

4. New York has a Republican mayor.

3. Waking up in a city that never sleeps is not as glamorous when you're already waking up to go to the bathroom 3 times a night

2. If he ever threatened to leave New York, no one would beg him to stay.

1. Millions in tax subsidized revenues not sufficient to feed his children on the Upper West side