Monday, October 03, 2005

Top 11 TV Episodes We’ll Never See, Not in a Million Years

11. Real World: Austin
The housemates spend the entire episode in a surprisingly compelling discussion of Thomas Aquinas’ “Summa Theologica”.

10. Fox NFL Post-Game Show
Highlights of all four NFC North teams winning non-conference games.

9. Commander in Chief
President Geena Davis realizes that if it’s justifiable to go to war to save a single woman from Muslim oppression, then maybe it’s justifiable to go to war to liberate several million Islamic women.

8. Law and Order
D.A. Fred Thompson gets off his rear and tries an actual case himself.

7. The O. C.
Marissa Cooper realizes that Ryan will always be no good and decides to become the trophy wife of a mid-western blogger named Sisyphus.

6. Alias
Ben Affleck doesn’t make a guest appearance during sweeps.

5. Curb Your Enthusiasm
Larry is approached by a major network to create a toned down version of his show that is clean enough to be aired on network television. He names the show “Seinfeld”.

4. According to Jim
Cheryl realizes that she’s hot enough to snag a better husband.

3. Joey
Joey takes up waterskiing and jumps over a tank containing a shark.

2. The West Wing
The public is so outraged at the election of another liberal Democrat to the fictitious presidency that millions march on the studio and install the M.A.W.B. Squad as dictators.

1. The Simpsons
Special guest voice Senator Robert Byrd convinces his childhood friend, Montgomery Burns, to open an abortion clinic in an African-American area of Springfield for the stated purpose of reducing crime in Springfield. However, their real motive is to obtain embryonic stem cells for their own personal use.


Blogger hammerswing75 said...

I'd give number one a fighting chance of getting on air. It's guaranteed hilarity.

10:48 PM  

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