Thursday, December 08, 2005

Top 11 Ways to Bring Mitch and JB Together

Mitch and JB are at it again. It pains me to see two of the top conservatives in Minnesota at such loggerheads. Here are the top 11 ways the two can be brought together:

11. A SHeDAISY concert at Qwest
10. Mitch could invite JB over to target shoot drug dealers from his kitchen window.
9. A Shopping excursion to the Midway Wal-Mart.
8. JB could demonstrate to Mitch that suburban bars also receive liquor shipments.
7. Both could move to a first ring suburb where the ennui is merely soul-denting.
6. JB could put on body armor and then walk across Midway after sundown. If he survived the trek he would probably be more understanding of Mitch.
5. They could open a Korean-Somalian Bar and Grill in Stillwater together.
4. JB could come over to help Mitch paint his house purple with green polka-dots and orange trim.
3. Perhaps there is a good country band with bagpipes that they would both find listenable.
2. Bring in Learned Foot to moderate.
1. A couple of rounds of JB’s Holiday Bracers.

2 Comments:

Blogger Eightgun said...

The SheDaisy concert wouldn't work. They're not quite the Dixie Chicks but I hear they're more of a blueneck than a redneck act.

9:47 PM  
Blogger Nihilist in Golf Pants said...

Those crazy, mixed up kids. When are they going to stop fighting and realize that they're in love with each other?

8:32 AM  

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