Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Top 11 Explanations for the Killer Rabbit Attack on Jimmy Carter

[Editors Note: April 20 is the 26th anniversary of the Killer Rabbit attack on Jimmy Carter]

11. The rabbit was fed up with double-digit inflation and unemployment.

10. Rabbit was only going after the six-pack of Billy Beer on the boat; Carter over-reacted.

9. Moonbat Theory: Karl Rove spent years genetically engineering and then brainwashing the rabbit to attack Carter and precipitate the media storm that he knew would lead to the election of George W. Bush’s father as Vice-President.

8. Alternate Moonbat Theory: It was Rove in a rabbit suit.

7. Carter would often come out to the swamp and recite his poetry; the rabbit couldn’t take it anymore.

6. After following Carter’s presidency, the rabbit hadn’t expected Carter to respond to the attack with force.

5. Rabbit was a PETA member protesting Carter’s torture of fish.

4. It was God’s gift to future bloggers.

3. Rabbit really, really wanted to see Walter Mondale in the Oval Office.

2. Something like this is bound to happen when a rabbit spends twelve hours a day eating Twinkies, playing “Pong”, and watching Bugs Bunny cartoons.

1. Did it to impress Jessica Rabbit.


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