Monday, September 12, 2005

Top 11 Reasons The Vikings Are Better Without Randy Moss

11. Fans at the Metrodome able to remain seated throughout entire game.

10. The kids in wheelchairs in the end zone were running out of space to store the balls Moss gave them after scoring.

9. Television viewers no longer subjected to clichés from announcers on all the "weapons in the Vikings arsenal."

8. Radio listeners no longer subjected to PA's histrionic calls on Moss touchdowns.

7. Defense gets more rest with lengthy "ball control" drives resulting in field goals rather than those annoying quick strike touchdowns.

6. Dante's arm doesn't get sore from throwing deep balls.

5. Room on roster to sign less-talented, more-troubled wide receiver Koren Robinson.

4. Vikings new strategy of losing as a team rather than winning with individual talent is inspiration for Pop Warner teams everywhere.

3. Vikings finally able to focus offensive attack on the vaunted "Kleinsasser Option."

2. Anemic Moss-less offense lowers fans expectations early in season thus reducing level of disappointment when team fails to win Super Bowl yet again.

1. After going 6-10 this season, head coach Mike Tice certain to be canned and Vikings can begin rebuilding process.


Blogger Sisyphus said...

0. Without Randy, Sisyphus can recover from an otherwise disappointing gambling weekend by betting heavy on the under in the Viking's game.

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Bobby Bray said...

Oh, who wants to win the Super Bowl anyway? You just have to go to the State of the Union address and sit with Laura Bush. Now if the twins were there it would be different.

3:10 PM  

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