Top 11 Changes Disney Has In Store for “Winnie the Pooh”

Disney is “updating” Winnie the Pooh by replacing Christopher Robin with “a six-year old tomboyish girl.” This change is only the tip of the iceberg. Here are the top 11 changes that Disney has in store for Pooh:

11. Global warming will force Pooh and the gang to move from Hundred Acre Wood to ANWR where they will be constantly menaced by Halliburton oil exploration engineers.

10. Piglet will join PETA

9. Pooh and Tigger will marry and become gay cowboys.

8. Eeyore will convert to Islam and teach the gang tolerance towards the Religion of Peace.

7. Rabbit will apologize to Jimmy Carter for attacking him back in 1979.

6. Roo will die of second hand smoke.

5. Pooh and Tigger will get into a big debate over whether they should live in the city or suburbs.

4. Pooh will discover that he is a wizard and enroll in Hogwarts school.

3. Instead of honey, Pooh will become obsessed with tofu.

2. Tigger will go on Ritalin.

1. The six year old tomboyish girl’s single mother will be voiced by Paris Hilton.