Top 11 Birthday Gifts That Sisyphus Gave To Mary Katharine Ham

Top 11 Birthday Gifts That Sisyphus Gave To Mary Katharine Ham:

11. A case of vanilla Coke

10. A very special lap dance

9. A maroon and gold Golden Gopher g-string

8. A coupon for a free back rub or a lesson in particle physics

7. A Salmongram, 'cause everyone loves salmon.

6. His tear-stained copy of "Einstein In Love"

5. His dog-eared copy of "The Internet For Dummies"

4. Her very own traffic light

3. A very special list of the Top 11 reasons that he wuvs his wittle Hamy Whamy

2. The lower half of his left ear

1. A picture of himself wearing nothing but boxers and black socks as part of what he likes to call "the timeless art of seduction."