Top 11 Ways to Improve Minnesota’s Hooker Ranking

I think all Minnesotans were embarrassed that the Minnesota Vikings sex cruisers felt it necessary to import hookers from out of state. But we can improve our hooker ranking, here are the top 11 ways:

11. Institute a hooker exchange program with France.

10. Better pimp training in local High Schools.

9. Bribe Julia Roberts and Richard Gere to set Pretty Woman II in Minnesota.

8. Add a state run brothel to the proposed state run casino.

7. Recognize our best prostitutes through a “Sex Worker of the Month” awards program.

6. Increase global warming so that the hookers won’t get so cold in their skimpy outfits.

5. Exempt big floppy pimp hats from the state sales tax.

4. Have the Governor name Hugh Hewitt Minnesota’s Master of the Whores.

3. Convince Charlie Sheen and Hugh Grant to move to Minnesota.

2. A lawn sign campaign with the slogan “Proud to Pay for Better Hookers for Minnesota”.

1. Build a new professional sports stadium.