Top 11 Ways To Beat the 37-0 Kentucky Wildcat Basketball Team

11. Bring RICO charges against John Calipari

10. Put them in classrooms across campus before the game so they are disoriented and can't find their way to the arena

9.  Only allow field goals if the shooter can solve a 4th grade math problem

8.  Ban 1 and done players

7.  Let them into the NBA

6.  Tie one hand behind their backs

5.  Pass reasonable rules requiring student athletes to actually be students and athletes

4.  Audit bank accounts of players

3.  Sneak LeBron onto opposing team

2.  Run a lethal level of electric current on the rim (note to Sisyphus, I understand that this wouldn't work as they wouldn't be grounded, but sometimes it's hard to think of 11 ideas)

1.  Make them play a gutty Notre Dame team

Top 11 Reasons Russian President Vladimir Putin Is Missing

11. Shamed by strategic brilliance shown by Barack Obama in Ukraine, Iraq, Libya, and Afghanistan

10. Finally dealing with post traumatic stress associated with being repeatedly called Pootie Poot by George W Bush

9.  Helping OJ search for the real killer

8.  Moved to Florida to avoid paying child support

7.  Hiding out in Sicily until the heat is of for the recent murder he committed

6.  Preparing exploratory campaign for 2016 Democratic Presidential nomination

5.  Tracking down everyone who has said something negative about him on Twitter

4.  Binge watching "The Americans"

3.  Off helping the mullahs in Tehran with some sort of negotiation

2.  Russian President among the positions recently eliminated by Target Corp.

1.  Upon reflection, releasing the information about Hillary Clinton's secret e-mail server was a really bad idea

My Baby, She Wrote Me An E-mail

12/20/2010 09:43 am

From: hdr22@clintonemail.com

To: ritz-carltondc@ritzcarlton.net

Subject: Morons!

Idiots:

I have never encountered such insolence and idiocy in my life. This morning, I spoke at a State Department briefing / Clinton Global Initiative fundraising breakfast. I specifically requested three minute soft boiled eggs. You fools provided eggs that were hard as a rock. You will rue the day you crossed me!

HDR

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12/20/2010 09:51 am

From: hdr22@clintonemail.com

To: humaabedin@clintonemail.com

Subject: Required Contribution

Huma,

Regarding your work lining up foreign backers for my next presidential run: I want to be perfectly up-front with my expectations. We are looking at a $1 billion campaign in 2016. Don't waste your time with tiny contributions. Domestic donors at the $1 million level are acceptable, but if I'm going to be doing favors for foreign governments, I simply must require a minimum commitment of $15 million, with at least 10% up-front.

Now get your ass out their and raise some more money.

HDR

****************************************************************************

12/20/2010 09:55 am

From: hdr22@clintonemail.com

To: humaabedin@clintonemail.com

Subject: Another Thing

Huma,

Almost forgot. Let's expand our monthly reports on dirt on my rivals (Republican and Democrat) to weekly.

HDR

****************************************************************************

12/20/2010 10:11 am

From: hdr22@clintonemail.com

To: bubba@clintonemail.com

Subject: Don't even think about it!

Bill:

It won't be a very Merry Christmas is you don't listen. You know what I am talking about!

HDR

The Paranoid Style With Jesse Walker

It’s a midweek special edition of HWX, with Brian Ward of Fraters Libertas and Paul Happe of the Nihilist in Golf Pants reconvening to discuss the vital issues of the day. Topics included:
- Analysis of the entrance music for Republican Presidential candidates at the recent CPAC conference
- Tryout of some sound effects to be used for future HWX shows during the election season
- Another Earth Day tip from Mike Nelson of Rifftrax
We were also joined by guest named Jesse who’s obsessed with conspiracy theories. And it’s NOT Jesse Ventura. Instead it’s the great Jesse Walker, he’s the books editor at Reason magazine and author of the book, The United States of Paranoia: A Conspiracy Theory. We have a rollicking discussion about the undercurrent of the “paranoid style” throughout American history, the archetypes that conspiracies tend to follow, and why this type of thinking is more of a feature than a bug of human psychology. Please Support Ricochet by Supporting our Sponsors
This podcast is brought to you by Harrys.com. Overpaying for drugstore razor blades is a bad habit that you should leave behind. Harry’s offers finely crafted German blades and rich and creamy foams and gels. Starter kits with everything are just $15, and you can get $5 off by entering the code HWX at checkout. And as always, free shipping. Shave for a month, for a mere 10 bones. Make the smart switch to Harry’s! We’re also brought to you by Swon Tax Preparation. Need help with your taxes? Be it an individual return, a business return, whatever it may be, our friend Jon Swon can help. He offers a full suite of tax services, customized to meet your goals. He’s based here in MN, but has clients around the country. If you need help, check him out at SwonTaxPrep.com.