Top 11 Reasons Russian President Vladimir Putin Is Missing

11. Shamed by strategic brilliance shown by Barack Obama in Ukraine, Iraq, Libya, and Afghanistan

10. Finally dealing with post traumatic stress associated with being repeatedly called Pootie Poot by George W Bush

9.  Helping OJ search for the real killer

8.  Moved to Florida to avoid paying child support

7.  Hiding out in Sicily until the heat is of for the recent murder he committed

6.  Preparing exploratory campaign for 2016 Democratic Presidential nomination

5.  Tracking down everyone who has said something negative about him on Twitter

4.  Binge watching "The Americans"

3.  Off helping the mullahs in Tehran with some sort of negotiation

2.  Russian President among the positions recently eliminated by Target Corp.

1.  Upon reflection, releasing the information about Hillary Clinton's secret e-mail server was a really bad idea