Sunday, February 15, 2015

Top 11 Reasons Jon Stewart Is Leaving "The Daily Show"

11. Tired of overeducated Comedy Central viewers asking him about Utilitarianism

10. Wouldn't you quit your job if you had ovear $100 million in the bank?

9.  Only  a couple of dozen "Bush is stupid" jokes left before supply is completely exhausted

8.  Hoping his post-show career will take off in the same manner as Craig Kilborn's

7.  Producers didn't get behind his new vision for the show: The Fortnightly Half Assed Attempt at Masquerading Political Attacks as Humor (actually, that isn't Stewart's vision, it's the vision of the new, soon-to-be rebranded version of the HWX podcast)

6.  Shouldn't have claimed his helicopter was fired on by Iraqi insurgents

5.  Depressed over the idea that he's actually the source of news for a sizeable percent of the American population

4.  Learned a serious lesson from David Letterman's BS about leaving while still funny

3.   Intent on building his acting chops in hope of winning an Academy Award for his roles in "Death to Smoochy 2: Smoochy's Revenge" and "Big Daddy 2: Bigger Daddy"

2.  Fears for his mental health if he has to pretend Hillary Clinton is a fresh voice of competence and reasonable government for the next 8 years

1.  Ran out of clever ways to insinuate that he's smarter than Republicans


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